Formal ways to describe knowledge

That last post was bullshit.
I may have a backbone, But you make my knees weak.
We both know you will eat me alive.
We both know that I will let you.
I will have strong moment when I will stand up to you.
Most of the time, I will give in.
I listen to my heart,
even though I am more cheerful when you and I don't speak,
My heart does not beat the same.
I feel more alive when I speak to you.
You push me.
I will never have you the way I want you.
You will never be mine. You will always belong to your addiction.
You will always fuck with my head and I will allow you to do this.
I can only be me, when I am with you. You make me feel free.
So I drink, and thats why other people see me more cheerful, I am drunk.

I just spoke to you on the phone.
I wish that you would see that I love you, No matter how deep you get.
I wish that you would see that I cry because I am so afraid that one day
I will call you and you wont be there to pick up the phone.
I am so afraid that I will find out days too late.
I am so afraid of loosing you. I mean actually loosing you.