I'm starting a new blog.
Something more upbeat and real with how my life is now.
Something new.
I am almost 34 weeks pregnant, Engaged To a wonderful man & happy with my life.
Reading over this blog and the things I wrote no longer are/affect who I am today.
Most of the things have helped me grow, but I no longer dwell on my sadness.

I am learning to embrace myself & the life that is soon to come.

http://aelishiasnewlife.blogspot.com

I had the strangest dream. In this dream I was forced to work at a brothel, Everyone around me was shooting up heroin and on crazy amounts of drugs. I kept on trying to run and escape because I was pregnant but every time I would jump out a window, I would land in bed naked with one of my ex boyfriends.

What the heck is going on in my brain right now? Everything seemed so vivid and real.

7 Weeks Now.

I have been a bit strange, as of late.
I am going to go get some food to make a bomb brunch?
I have someone nice in my life right now,

I MISS JORDAN VAN ATTA And GOODNESS, I LOVE HIM.

Feeling empty.
Feeling no real sense of belonging.
Wanting to go home,
realizing no where feels like home.

I went out last night with some old friends,

300 dollars came up missing out of my bag,

It is sad to say I can not even put trust into people I have known for years.

I am in portland with little money and little pride at this point.

I keep letting myself down.

When am I going to learn that others will never care about my well being.

I just want it to be Tuesday so I can start working.

I just want money to start coming in.

I want to find my own place again.

I want to find people who are trustworthy and kind.

I am so tired of feeling like I have been in the same place for the last few years.

when will I learn?