you can take all the time you need...

Yesterday Brady and I spent most of the day together after my doctors appointment.It was really nice just to relax and be in each others presence. We made salmon seasoned with fennel and lemon and grilled up some mushrooms, potatoes and yellow bell peppers for dinner. It was so freaking good.
We then watched weird science, played toss with the football,and took a little nap.
Katie and Janey came back from the gym. After Katie got all pretty for Tyler's going away party, We had a pre dance party in Brady's room.
When we got to Tyler's going away party, all the boys had a torch and were talking about lighting this big bug on fire. It was so gross, I had to walk away.

The party was overall nice. We just ate junk and sat around and talked.
Kolby and Tyler where trying to roll together. It was a rather funny sight to see.

Tyler,
your sweet smile will be missed but California deserves you.
please be strong when those around you are weak.
I will pray just for you.
see you around Christmas time:)
-me

Brady and I left Tyler's at a little over midnight.We had a rather strange talk that made me frustrated. I deserve to be frustrated after all the shit i put him through.
I know that I love Brady. I know what i did was fucked up, I will be the first to say it.
I had a plan and that plan can WAIT. I know you would never ask me to have any of my plans wait. I know that you wanted to ask me.
so I am just going to say it....
you wanted me to marry you, you were so close to asking but I FUCKED THAT UP.

I love you and you love me and hopefully you will be my husband, but not yet.
Not until we both can deal with what I have put us through.
& I want you to take all the time you need.

I am going to say that again,
I WANT YOU BRADY SCOTT HYDE TO TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED!
because otherwise you will never be able to heal

You waited for me,
Its my turn to wait.

I am so sorry for all the pain I brought upon you.