I'm waiting.

just sitting in your room until you get home.
i got here at 3:45 after all those texts you sent me.
You love me, i get it.
its just so fucking hard to love myself.
everyday i wake up and its a fucking battle with my body now.
I do this to my fucking self. I am going insane danny.

its 5:30 am, your not here.
I hope you get here by at least 7:50? i need a few hours of sleep.

I didn't sleep the night before because you showed up at my house at 2 am.
you with a card and a present.
I am sorry that i treat you like she did sometimes.
but you are so manipulative and always try to play off my emotions.

I know that you are trying, but i need more.
I am selfish.
I am insecure.

I have problems and a fucked up head.
I want you to be okay with that.
I want you to love it when i am mad.

you have to love me for what i am and what i am doing, other wise its not worth it.

on another note....
my head is spun.
Amanda and i went out to Adams again.
that just means WINE AND BEER.

but before that we went and got tea and talked for 3 hours?
its nice to have someone to actually talk to.
I love Amanda with all my heart, she is such a good friend to me.